It has been no hidden fact that the first thing mostly that the children listen to being said to them is a big NO. Parents want the best for their children but during disciplining them, they say something which unknowingly causes greater harm than anyone can ever imagine. It is just a two-letter word which is NO. But why is it being such a small word which we commonly use with each other, tend to cause adverse effects on children? Let us read it further in this article.
Saying no to all of your child's requests can be harmful. Kids need the opportunity to explore different places and try new things. So it's important that you grant your child permission to do the things that are good for her /his development. When you catch yourself saying no a lot, ask yourself WHY. It’s all about lessening their use to rewire our kids’ brains for positivity.
Is it possible to discipline without saying no?
Yes! This has everything to do with the idea of being intentional with our words and giving clear instructions to our children. Using positive parenting phrases actually has the ability to set clearer boundaries than the word no itself. The following points are explaining the same.
Just a NO, Give them reasons:
We have often seen that we ourselves just focus on telling children things like, No, Don’t touch that, and No, stop doing this/that. But have you ever wondered what it does to the child’s mind? They don’t know why you said NO because you didn’t mention it. It was just one word that made that change in behaviour, but think if it helped them to know why they should not touch ‘that’ thing or why should they stop ‘doing’ a certain action. No, it doesn’t! Communicating is an essential part of disciplining your child.
Keep a check on your language as parents and also teachers:
Children are sensitive beings and have less vocabulary to communicate than adults. We often say no to a variety of things in a harsh manner to them which may disregard their preferences and interests and make them feel low. This gets unnoticed at times due to their playful nature. However, it is important that while parents discipline children using negative words and high pitch and tone, we may just need to reflect a bit on the language we are using to convey to our kids. Possibly, we may be wiring their brains negatively and making them feel ok with this kind of tone, and language with others as well.
Don’t say No, Stop doing this instead say Yes, we can try doing that:
It takes way too long to realize the error of our ways as parents and educators. With time if we do not look for an alternate way of saying ‘NO’, the children will soon start speaking to us the way we speak to them. It is a proven fact, much observed and researched.
Say NO to things and behaviours, not to the child:
One very integral part of parenting and discipline either by parents or teachers is to acknowledge that whatever you are correcting is the behaviour of the child and not the child itself. Saying things like you, stop it! makes them come in the centre of all the faults, developing low self-image and worth of themselves. They need to know as much as we should know as adults that the child is not the problem, the particular behaviour is and that is what needs to be corrected.
Change the environment so that you are less in a position to use negative language and have less probability to say NO:
One very fascinating and efficient idea is that as parents, teachers already know that some things or behaviour are more probable to happen in a particular surrounding or in one particular scenario, then the clever way is to have the child be less exposed to that one thing to limit their problematic behaviour. This way the discussed adverse effects of saying ‘No’ can be minimized.
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